Minnehaha as Scheherazade

What is that?

A painting

I can see that

Don’t you like it?

I hate it


Because it exploits the subject

I bet you do not even know its title

I do

Then tell me

It is called The Death of Minnehaha by William Dodge

How did you know that?

I came across it when I was studying the Longfellow poem

Why do you hate it?

Because it is so unreal

The poem is unreal

In the poem she has died terribly in the winter during a famine I believe


There she is stretched out on the bed as it she is taking an afternoon nap after a hard day on the plains

It is her nudity that bothers you

It does not bother me but the artist is exploiting the subject

She has perfect breasts and beautiful olive coloured skin and raven hair to die for

She is there to be admired

Her defences are down

They usually are when one is dead

And Hiawatha has brought a friend along to have a look at her tits

That is why you liked the painting

Fuck off Scheherazade

Would you have brought it if it had showed Minnehaha covered in vomit and wearing a stinking cow skin garment much stained?

No you would not have purchased the painting

You are jealous of the painting you really are

Why should I be?

Because you are ginger

I like being ginger

And you have big breasts covered in freckles

If you do not like seeing them then do not come into the bathroom when I am in there

Nature calls we only have one toilet as you may have noticed

Hold yourself

Does it bother you?


Then why say it?

Because you are jealous of the painting

Fuck you Daniel you will not make me cry

I like the painting and it is going to stay there above the fireplace whether you like it or not

You may not have noticed but I own this flat

Do you want me to leave?


You have never really got over it have you?

Got over what?

That Sheba and I inherited Daddy’s dark complexion and you poor you inherited Mummy’s pale complexion

Mummy is beautiful

I am not saying that she is not beautiful

That is a cruel thing to say

What you would give for Sheba’s olive skin and raven eyes

Do you know something Daniel you can be a real shit sometimes

Are you are a bitch

You attack things without reason

I do not like the painting


So when I am in here I am going to have to stare at her tits all the time

Sheba will not like it

She likes it

She was here earlier on

She loves the subject and the romantic interpretation of the painting


She loves beautiful things

Sheba is beautiful

Unlike me

I did not say that

When you see me naked in the bath do you desire me?

You are my sister

If I was not your sister but just a random flat mate would you desire me?

I have never thought of it


Well you are beautiful in a Celtic type of way

Pale is beautiful you know

But you prefer Minnehaha and her perky olive tits

It’s a fucking painting that’s all

Then take it down

Fuck off Scheherazade and get your head in order

Don’t cry

You made me cry you bastard

You can cry as much as you like but I am not going to take the painting down

You can have my Matisse you know how much you like it

It looks better in your bedroom the colours work well

What are you doing?

I am taking my top off


I am going to stretch out on the settee with the throw half covering me so every time you come in here to eat or watch television you will see me in exactly the same pose as the dead Minnehaha

And when mummy and daddy visit

They will understand

And Sheba

I will ask her to join me

What happens if I have problems with the gas?

We are all electric

Ok you win I will take the painting down

Put your top back on

Can I replace it with the Matisse?

If you like

And what will happen to poor naked Minnehaha

She will have to share my bedroom with me

You and all your girlfriends

I am sure they will object

That will most likely be the last thing on their minds

May I get the Matisse now?

Go ahead I will remove the Minnehaha painting

It was short but painful stay

See that looks better

I think it looked better in your bedroom

And I think that your painting looks better where it is

I disagree

Sheba will not like it

Sheba does not live here

Sheba liked the painting

Then Sheba can sit at your desk and admire the painting and you can drink coffee together and discuss its merits or lack of them

Why are you smiling?

It’s nothing

Don’t sulk

I am not sulking

I was just thinking what Richard Burton said of you

Scheherazade had perused the works of the poets and knew them by heart she had studied philosophy and the sciences the arts and other accomplishments and she was pleasant and polite wise and witty well read and well bred

Fuck off Daniel