Marcia Marseille et moi

Marcia and I were sitting on the sofa at the end of the world watching Olympique Marseille play Guingamp

The score was 2-1

Marseille had opened the scoring after eight minutes but Guingamp had equalised from the spot after thirty-four

But Marseille had taken the lead again four minutes later from another penalty

It had been a close game spoilt by inconsistent refereeing

Do you think both sides will finish with eleven?

I have my doubts

Do you want me to read my poor poem?

At half time Marcia at half time

I sensed Marcia’s irritation as she tucked her legs beneath the cushion

Half time

Can I read it to you now?

Go ahead is it a long poem?

It is not really a poem or a story just something in-between

I am all yours

Marcia pulled a small pad from her woollen bag

Here goes

Marcia was walking in the rain on the decks of the Ocean Queen

She was wearing just her white and blue Olympique Marseille football shirt

Come back come back Marcia 

For your bottom is on show 

You shouted without reply

On the deck above a member of the crew was doing his rounds 

Madam why are you wearing a Marseille football shirt in the rain?

Because I am naked underneath

I am Dutch and in my home country it is not considered proper behaviour to frequent the decks of ocean liners wearing the football shirt of any French football club

If I was wearing an Ajax shirt would that be considered good behaviour in your country?

Very much

You came out on to the deck and removed my football shirt and I stood there quite naked

After straightening the shirt and kissing the collar lightly you handed it back to me

Throw your football short into the foaming sea

And we will swim to Amerika

The land of the free

This is the place for you and me

And with this I threw the football shirt into the sea

The Dutchman was standing next to me and handed you two football shirts

Ajax home and away the choice is yours sir we often have passengers throwing French football shirts into to the sea and declaring their love for Amerika

Marcia placed the notebook on her lap and looked at me

Well what do you think?

I liked it

You do not get it do you?

Get what?

That I want to go on a cruise and not to fucking Marseille again if I see that fucking stadium again I am going to scream

You liked the Unite d’ habitation didn’t you?

True I get off on Le Corbusier but I hate fucking Marseille why the fuck he ever considered Marseille is beyond me

I have a break planned and no it is not Marseille

Where where are we going? 

That would be telling anyway pipe down as the teams are remerging this is going to be tight match

Two months later Marcia and I were sitting next to the first and last cottage in England

Do you like Land’s End?


There is something so wild about this area    

Marcia watched as the droplets of rain water dripped from her hood and shuddered as one ran down her spine

Does it ever stop raining here?

Sometimes you have to remember that our country has a westerly airflow

You know that I hate this place so much that I am actually pining for Marseille


Fuck off

Why fuck off?

You know I wanted to go on a cruise

You can see the sea from here and there is plenty of it

Fuck you again fuck you a thousand times

That night we were lying in bed in our rented cottage not far from Land’s End

I hate this place

I thought it was a little quaint

Fuck quaint

I thought you liked quaint


What are you reading?

What do you think?

Le Corbusier again?

Le Corbusier did not do quaint did he?


Are you mad at me?

No at myself


Well where shall I start if it is not fucking Marseille then it is fucking Lands End or fucking Dartmoor or anywhere fuckingwhere that interests you

You still want to go on a cruise don’t you?

Yes as much as I hate this fucking place

They take a lot of organising


We are not cruise people you will get bored and what about the story?

What story?

The one you wrote about wearing a football shirt on deck

That was for you a hint you know how much you like my bottom

In a football shirt

Yes a hint I introduced the Dutchman to make you jealous

How can I be jealous of abstracts?

I tell you what lets book a cruise leaving from Marseille GOING ANYWHERE

Not many leave from Marseille these days it is more of a stopping point

I will let you take in a match before we go and I will wear that hateful blue and white dress you like without panties so you can touch me in one of the backstreets like a cheap whore you know how much you like that

Would you want to see the Unite d’ habitation again?

Maybe I will give it a miss this time

No Le Corbusier

No Le Corbusier

I must say I never liked fucking you on the plate books of his I found  them a little uncomfortable

And I do not like walking around in your fucking Marseille football shirt with my bottom on show

But I like it

Then if we go on the cruise you shall have it I will wear both the home and away shirts as well as the third change shirt and if you like you can invite the whole ship to witness me in your teams colours

That will not be necessary


You story set me thinking


Well as much as I love Olympique Marseille I thought there is more to life than the football club there are many clubs in many cities in many countries

Where are you going?

Well I have booked a cruise but it is not leaving from Marseille but from Rotterdam we are going to cruise the North Sea and visit Sweden and Norway and I think Finland

Oh how wonderful how lovely

There are conditions though


In the box next to the bed there are three football shirts Ajax home Ajax away and their third choice change shirt I would like you to wear them

On deck?

If you like

In front of the Dutch crew

No that is where I draw a line it must be a ships officer

Marcia pulled me towards her and kissed me on the lips she then got out of the bed and walked to the window and removed her Marseille football shirt

May I throw it out?

Be my guest

I joined Marcia at the window having picked her Le Corbusier book up

And this to

I will need an architect in my life

Choose a living one there are plenty of those to choose from

The book followed the football shirt out of the window and as we lay in each other’s arms Marcia suddenly sat up

Are you ok?

Foster Norman Foster he is my new architect




Harry Worth

Marcia and I were sitting on the sofa at the end of the world

I was listening to Mozart on my headphones

Marcia was knitting

Every light was on in our cottage

As we wanted to share our contentment

I think you will be able to see our cottage from the moon

Marcia said to me

She handed me a ball of magenta wool

Do you remember Harry Worth?

No who was he?

A British comedian

Does he appear on television?

No he no longer appears on television

The local authorities have changed the street lamps

They are much brighter

Do you realise that many shops do not have plate glass windows unhindered by supports they are fast disappearing from our towns and cities

I have never really thought about it

Harry Worth once created a memorable comedy moment on television using a shop doorway and a plate glass window

Why do you think that they changed the street lamps?

I suppose the moon was bored

I rather like them

May I share your headphones?

Please do I am listening to Mozart  


The Butterfly

Marcia and I were sitting on the sofa at the end of the world

As it was summer the television was not on and we were both reading

It was raining outside as it had been for most of the summer

Marcia looked up from her book

May I interrupt you?

I was not reading but watching the rain come down

I have decided to get a tattoo

That’s nice what type of tattoo?

A butterfly

Where are you going to have this tattoo?

On my arse

On your arse?

Yes on my arse it is a gentle place for a gentle creature

How big is this butterfly going to be life size?

No bigger

Well how big?

About a third of the size of one of my cheeks


Don’t you approve?

It is your body

You have a tattoo

I know

A Maltese Cross

My dad was Maltese

I know I have met him

Then you agree?

It is your choice but have you thought how you are going to live with it?

What do you mean?

Well on the beach for instance

Women with tattoos visit the beach you know

Yes I have noticed

You cousin Susan has a tattoo of a rose on her bum

How did you know that?

She showed it to me

What type of butterfly are you planning to have?

A Red Admiral

Marcia lifted a book from the coffee table

See here it is it is such a beautiful creature

Yes I agree but I will have to get used to it when you parade around the house

You will like it imagine when you fuck me from behind you will have a friend to talk to

Where are going to have this tattoo done?

At the parlour in the town

It is run by that ginger guy who looks like he is a biker


Do you really want Dave to be fiddling with your beautiful bum?

He will not be fiddling with my bum at all as Petra is going to do it


His German assistant

She means nothing to me

You know the one all vests and tattoos she wears blond dreadlocks

Oh her

Is she good?

I believe so as some of the tattoos she has are her own work

When I am going to meet the butterfly?

Saturday I am going on Saturday

Although it was raining Marcia decided to walk to the tattoo parlour

As she opened the door she was greeted by Dave

Hi Marcia good to see you Petra is in the back room but I think she has some bad news

Oh dear is she poorly?

As Marcia finished her sentence Petra entered the front office

She kissed Marcia lightly on both cheeks

I hear you have some news for me

I saw Marcia before she saw me and opened the door for her

Would you like a cup of tea I will not ask you to sit down

Cut the jokes


There is no tattoo no butterfly


Look outside what do you see?

The road the fields and the railway station

No what do you see above the road the field and the railway station

The sky

And what comes from the sky?


What else the wet stuff


It was because of the rain that I could not have a tattoo

You have lost me

Butterflies are very gentle creatures and have suffered greatly during this shitty summer in short there are none to spare their population has been badly hit by the poor weather

So Dave could not get one to pose?


So Petra could not get one to pose?

Yes they were far too busy surviving and could not release even a common moth

That is sad you will just have to go back when the summer picks up

I have decided against it I want my bottom to be undecorated

I thought you liked my cousin’s tattoo

I did but in a way butI thought she had spoilt herself

Do you not like my tattoo?

I love your tattoo but it is more of a man thing I was looking at Petra and thought of her naked with all her tattoos she looked odd like a wall full of graffiti

It is your call I was looking forward to meeting the admiral when I fucked you from behind we could have shared stories of the sea

Fuck off don’t take the piss

The cup of tea is still on offer

I’ll make it just get dry

A short while later Marcia and I were sitting together were sitting on the sofa at the end of the world

She looked warmer in a grey sweat shirt

What were you doing whilst I was away?

Finishing my book

Was it good?

Yes it was very good

What was it called?  



Yes Papillon by Henri Charriere