Cuba Betty


Cuba Betty paddled in the sea

Searching for starfish

But found none

So she designed a railway


Cuba Betty travelled to Scotland

Hoping to witness an Egyptian mirage

But saw only a Scottish one

To celebrate her disappointment

She purchased a blue pencil factory


Cuba Betty lusted after her brother

But he did not lust after her

In her deep sorrow she began to eat primroses

Which promoted indigestion


Cuba Betty often favoured masturbation

When tired and wretched

It gave her the chance

To consider London buses

In poor weather


Cuba Betty named her right wrist

Betty Cuba

But she did not name her other wrist

Which was the root of its jealousy


Cuba Betty had three breasts

She let her friends play with two of them

But kept the other for herself


Cuba Betty left her favourite slippers

On the overnight sleeper to Penzance

Her sadness was so great

That she wore black for the rest of her life