Letter from V
As you may be aware Toby and I are currently in the Lake District. The weather is wonderful as I hope it is for you although the newspaper’s report quite dreadful weather where you are stationed. I trust that they are erroneous in their reporting.
Today we visited the Screes at Wastwater which I think must resemble your battlefields in certain lights. I trust that your uniform is nice and clean again and that you have none of those beastly bullet holes or shrapnel wounds soiling that lovely material. It is such a bore making you smart for battle again.
As I write little Toby is running a cedar twig along the surface of the lake. He is missing you very much and has prepared a small drawing for you (which I enclose along with your usual Holy Water). He has entitled it “ The Rat Tat Tat of the Gatling Cat “ I hope it brings you pleasure during the bloody battles to come.
Tomorrow we are going to visit Nab Cottage which was formally the residence of Mr Coleridge. I am looking forward to such a fun filled day. Do think of our joy as you slaughter the unfortunates.
I must close now as tea awaits and Toby is getting increasingly excited by the French Delights.