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Biographies

Terry Super – Humorous

committed suicide
in front of an ICE train

he always knew that he would die of the cold

he married a co-joined twin
and had an affair with her sister

for this crime he was committed to prison island
where he had a butterfly tattooed onto his chest

within days it had flown away
so he replaced it with a lion

lions do not fly away

he celebrated his birthday
on the longest day
each year

although he was born in February

he shared his birthday
with his brother Swansea
although he only had sisters

whom he loved very much 

his sisters did not reciprocate his love
and stole all his clothes

he wore the same suit for twenty three years

until the day he committed suicide
when he purchased a new one

this suit remains at the cleaners

 

The Strict Life of Father Mike

His church was only half built
so he offered only short sermons

He would not baptise anybody
over four feet tall
and his summer fairs would only last twenty minutes

But all was fine in the parish of Father Mike

For he had stolen the church spire
and was holding it captive
until it confessed its sins

An odd attraction to a nearby yew

A tree that Father Mike secretly loved

 

Geraldine Daulaphine

liked her name
and was drawn
to its many vowels

she was not however a fan
of alliteration
as she considered it baroque

aged twenty she moved
into a dictionary
and stayed there until she was forty three

she now lives in new york
between two volumes
of classical biography